It’s hard to believe we’re in the last half term of the school year. Tomorrow brings an announcement from the Welsh Minister for Education, where we may have some idea of return to school plans for the children, and in all honesty, I’m not really sure quite what they’ve learned in the last few months, academically, anyway. But we keep trying, and you never know, maybe something’s gone in. At least they know how to bake. That will always get them far in life in my opinion.

We started today with the recommended episode of Numberjacks, then tried to copy the ordering number games from the programme. Theo of course found it much more fun to be the villain who goes around messing up the order, than putting them right again, but Micah likes a challenge so he set those numbers straight!

Maddie’s story this week is Superworm, so she set about measuring woolen worms, I’m not sure I’m brave enough to create a wormery, like her teacher suggested. I might leave that one to Liam.

Theo’s story and learning is all around the book ‘What the Ladybird Heard’, so after we’d read it and attempted the learning ideas set out, I decided to just set the story scene up and hoped they’d imbibe something useful in learning through play. It’s a good job I don’t have targets to meet.

Given the dubious upcoming weather forecast, I felt we should make the most of the sun today and we can attempt the art competition homework we’ve been putting off all half term until tomorrow. Thankfully, on the whole, they were happy to potter around the garden today.

Except for when they came in to be mermaids, and then requested individual mermaid homes. If you look carefully there are three children to spot in this photo, a bit of a live action Where’s Wally. Don’t mistake them for the overflowing teddy basket.

We had some letters to post, so whilst Liam took Toby and Micah for a bike ride, the older girls and I did the scooter walk. Naturally, one child fell off with an epic sideways roll before the end of our street, and needed great persuasion to get back on the scooter with the grazed knee. And both children needed pulling up the hill.

Having helped in the fun of two scooters on a walk, Megan and Maisie decided they absolutely will not be allowing their children to own them. To which I said I’d buy them for the grandchildren then, because isn’t that the role of a grandparent, alongside buying the really noisy toys?! But it turned out that despite their apparent issues at pulling the scooters for their reluctant siblings, the big sisters were not unwilling to get back on their Flickers for old times sake.

Maddie was happy with her worm-themed offering for pudding tonight, and making mud and worm desserts definitely appealed to me more than watching the video of a worm lifecycle. I don’t think I’m cut out for this teaching lark, unless I can have support staff to teach all the boring and unappealing bits.

I bought some bargain Peonies in Morrisons yesterday, which looked like they’d barely last the day, but today are absolutely stunning.

This gives me hope, because I feel a bit like the buds of yesterday, discoloured around the edges, looking wilted and not very promising.

These weeks at home have highlighted some of my fears and flaws, and I find it easy to start getting bogged down by them. Aware of how easy I find it to judge my neighbours for having family over. To feel jealous or insecure when I start to wonder which friends might be messaging or meeting up. To be a proud perfectionist with my family instead of a gracious cheerleader. To let my fear be bigger than my faith. To be self-focussed instead of outward looking and loving.

But I’m grateful that God sees our weakness as well as our potential, and He gently snips off the end of the flower stem to allow me to drink from His living water, and bloom in the ways He’s designed me to. He highlights those areas that need refreshing, and He chooses to keep shining His light on my stubbornly closed petals, opening them gently so I can lift my eyes to Him. To be who He has made me to be.

I love the words of this song, reflecting my ups and downs and His faithfulness.

‘I’ve been strong
And I’ve been broken within a moment
I’ve been faithful
And I’ve been reckless at every bend
I’ve held everything together
And watched it shatter
I’ve stood tall and I have crumbled
In the same breath

I have wrestled
And I have trembled toward surrender
Chased my heart adrift
And drifted home again
Plundered blessing
Till I’ve been desperate to find redemption
And every time I turn around
Lord You’re still there

I was found
Before I was lost
I was Yours
Before I was not
Grace to spare
For all my mistakes
And that part just wrecks me

And I know I don’t deserve this kind of love
Somehow this kind of love is who You are
It’s a grace I could never add up
To be somebody You still want
But somehow
You love me as You find me

Who am I
To think Your glory needs my praises
But if this borrowed breath is Yours Lord
Take it all
You are faithful and You are gracious
And I’m just grateful
To think You don’t need a single thing
And still You want my heart.’

(Hillsong, As you find me).