Saturday dawned, as the days still have a habit of doing. It was slow and we were lazy and that was good.

We ate waffles and played Penguin Pairs and hung out in the hammock. The children were excited by visitors, and bravely waved umbrellas around to shield us from the germs.

Maddie and Theo hid little wooden insects in homes under the tree, and then we spent an hour looking for the lost one that then turned up in the lounge.

I went for my run in 26 degree evening heat and went straight for the paddling pool on my return to sit amongst the algae and sand to cool off.

Saturday night Marvel film viewing was unfortunately divided for the parents, due to very long settling of younger siblings, we rotated dinner eating/children settling so we now both have half an understanding of Black Panther. Which, to be honest, is enough for me.

Sunday brought more blue skies and a beautiful walk with friendly horses.

We battled the backpacks the children absolutely needed to bring, and shared the piggybacks for aching limbs.

I was grateful for these moments, for the time and space and the sun-kissed cheeks and the sun-bleached hair.

And we got home and watched church and I cried through the songs. And as grateful as I am, I feel emotionally wobbly at the start of this week.

I love these days and I resent these days and I miss our old life but I don’t want it back, and I dream of our new life but I’m afraid of it too.

The new regulations have unsettled me more I think, because as dreamy as it sounds to meet another family, the reality is that the children cannot cope with it. They cause chaos on every zoom, they shout when people are at the door, and they fight and cry when they leave. Until we can see people without all the rules, it feels even harder somehow.

And then there’s the world of hurt out there. Truthfully, I woke heavy hearted today, weary of Covid and it’s impact, and saddened by a world still riddled with inequality and discrimination, where people kill other people, where the vulnerable are still hurt, and where many live afraid.

I don’t feel like I have the wisdom or the words to begin to voice my thoughts or opinions on matters I can’t even comprehend. So instead I wrote a prayer. For a world in fear of a virus and hurting from injustice. To the God who cares so much that He has our names engraved on His hands. (Is 49:15)

Father God, I cry to you for our world, broken by a virus and broken by viral injustice. Broken by sickness and sin. God who split the Red Sea, would you split the seas of division and racism and create a road of justice and redemption. Creator who made man in Your image, help us love the image of You in the faces of the people we meet.

Saviour Son, would you rescue the people in the world you came to save, from the pain of pandemic and the posture of pride. Jesus who came and taught and loved, teach us how to love one another. You who healed the sick, would you heal the sadness of a world in need.

Spirit who is here as our Helper, help those who are hurting and grieving and lost. Spirit who prays on our behalf, would You plead peace for the storms that are rocking our home.

Father, Son and Spirit, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, thank You that the story isn’t over yet. Give us patience in the waiting, hope in the despairing, gratefulness in receiving, and love for the hurting. In Your Name, Amen.