I didn’t sleep well last night, and I woke early this morning, before the kids. The reason? I couldn’t hear the chicks. I was questioning if the light was too hot, too cold, too low, too high. If they’d fallen in the water or pecked each other’s heads in. Yes, it turns out my maternal instincts are still strong and I still have an overwhelming need to care for all the babies. Even the ones with beaks and feathers. I think Liam thinks I’m losing the plot. He may be right. Anyway the good news is the chicks were absolutely fine. All three nuts present and correct. (Although coconut may not technically be a nut. I believe it’s a fruit. But for the purposes of the trio, it counts).

This was my view queuing for the supermarket this morning, an already glorious day weather wise. The shopping trip took me all morning, but to be honest, I quite enjoyed the few hours of no one saying my name! Theo is getting increasingly upset when I leave for the shops, and this time I couldn’t even bribe him with a treat. Until I was halfway around the shop, when Megan called me to say he was happier now and had decided he’d like a notebook please.

Aside from all the requests for Maisie’s upcoming birthday, this week’s wishlist from the family included: honey roast peanuts, Extra Bubblemint chewing gum, Cream Soda, Squashies drumstick sweets, and of course, Theo’s notebook. Micah is still naive enough to be delighted with the smallest item from the sweet aisle. Long may it last.

Once I’d returned from the shop, unpacked all the food, dished out the items requested, and we’d eaten lunch, we decided to do another of Maddie’s magpie themed crafts. Today the plan was to collect shiny objects and create a collage. Of course, the boys wanted to get in on the act, so we dug out the recycling box, I sacrificially ate a few Quality Street in the name of art, and we set to work.

I suspected we were heading for a lockdown low, but my fears were realised when I said yes to glitter. I’m not the person I used to be. And, honestly, I’m disappointed in myself. I hate glitter. A stronger me would never have given in, but clearly I’m worn down and weak. It did of course made the collages super shiny and satisfyingly sparkly, but it’s everywhere. I even found it in my tea.

Never again. No matter how persuasive they are.

Or not until I forget the mess and remember how happy they were for some brief minutes, and I weaken again.

This moment is a still from a Mamma Mia TikTok performance which kept all six children entertained for a good hour this afternoon. Costume design, location surveying, auditions, and shooting. They did it all. I have my sisters to thank for their special version of the same song, the inspiration behind the children’s clip. Given the relative peace it gave us this afternoon, perhaps we could have more ideas for them to copy?!

The chicks still proved entertaining on day two, which is a relief. There were strong objections to the fact that I made chicken curry for dinner, however. It was deemed insensitive and cruel and might upset the three birds. They didn’t seem to mind. I made hot dogs as an alternative for those with moral objections. But I pointed out that if we got a puppy they wouldn’t be able to eat those any more either. Which got me an eye roll from the teens, and a slightly concerned, ‘hot dogs aren’t dog though…are they?’ from the younger ones.

I had a call from Maddie and Theo’s school today, seeing how we’re doing and how they are. And talking about transitions into reception and year 2. And in all honesty, it makes me feel anxious. Theo can barely let me leave the house right now, even when he’s safely home with his whole family, so the thought of him settling into school seems daunting to say the least. And then there’s each one of the older ones to settle back too, with varying fears, challenges, and pressures. As tough as these days can be, there’s something reassuring about having the children here – all my chicks in the nest.

As foster carers, we spent a lot of time learning about transitions and endings, how important they are, and how to do them well. We spent a lot of planning and energy supporting Maddie’s transition into school, and Theo’s into nursery, and in doing all we could to manage them well. And yet with Coronavirus, everything stopped with no warning. And there is no clear idea of how it will re-start. There was no way to manage the ending well, and no way to plan for a smooth way back into school life.

But I don’t have to know right now. Yes, I’ll advocate for them. Yes, I told the deputy head my concerns. Yes, I’ll be creative and hopefully wise in managing what is ahead. But my hope isn’t in how well I prepare them, or in what the government do or don’t do, but in the belief that God cares about my children. He created them, He knows them better than I do. He’s been with them every step of the way. I feel like the mother hen, trying to protect them all, but His love, and His care far surpasses mine. So I’ll wait, I’ll trust, and I’ll pray. And I’ll keep giving out ice creams and cuddles and watching TikToks.

‘How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.’ – Psalm 36:7