At 4:45 this morning the words went through my head, ‘there were four in the bed and the little one said, roll over. So they all rolled over and…’. And I got out. And retreated to the sofa. By 5:30 Liam had also been pushed out and the small ones claimed victory of the bed. So when they came downstairs we put on the telly, made a tea, and stubbornly sat in our bed to drink it.

Micah is getting very into ‘doing school!’ Making letters in the sand tray was a favourite today.

And a bit of healthy competition won Theo over – ‘I bet you can’t make five can you?’

‘Of course I can!!!’ And he did.

Meanwhile Maddie worked hard on two times tables house building, and Toby had a video maths tutorial from Aunt Estie to keep him on track.

The boys and I moved to the kitchen, where I suggested some number pegging to help Theo’s hypermobile hands.

He seems capable of using the pegs, but why peg them on number cards when you could just use your nose?

After lunch Liam found some old Orbeez water beads, which of course were a huge hit. It was so nice to have a warmer day again today, it definitely makes a huge difference to the younger ones particularly!

Liam was helping Megan with a DT project this afternoon, and I went up to sort some washing, so inevitably everyone followed us up. Then one by one they climbed into our bed. Which was all very well until some members wandered off to find a snack, and I went back into the bedroom to find 3 of them eating Wotsits. In. my. Bed.

There’s taking liberties and there’s taking liberties. And this was well over the line. So I evicted them all immediately.

I then came across a Corona virus quiz to ask your children, so went around my house to carry out my inquiries. So without further ado, here are the published results.

1. What is the Corona Virus?

Maddie (aged 6) – A virus

Theo (aged 4) – germs

Micah (aged 3) – Coronavirus!

Meg (aged 14) – it’s a virus spread by contact and germs left on things.

Toby (aged 10) – bad.

Maisie (aged 12) – it’s a virus. It’s germs.

2. Who is the prime minister?

Maddie – The boss

Theo – I forgot.

Micah – I Don’t know about that.

Meg – I Dunno. Boris Johnson?

Toby – Boris Johnson.

Maisie – At the moment it’s Boris Johnson right? Or has it changed?

3. How many days have we been in lockdown?

Maddie – 24 hundred.

Theo – 100.

Micah (excitedly) -LOCKDOWN!

Meg – over 40 less than 90.

Toby – too many.

Maisie – I’ve lost count.

4. What is mummy/am I wearing today?

Maddie – clothes.

Theo – Pyjama trousers and a morning t shirt.

Micah – clothes.

Meg – slippers.

Toby – clothes.

Maisie – a jumper, some clothes and penguin slippers.

5. Do you want to go back to school?

Maddie – Emphatically – NO. Wait I changed my mind. I do.

Theo – no.

Micah – I want to go to school!

Meg – to see my friends, yes.

Toby- -to see my friends not to do the work.

Maisie – no, because they think Coronavirus will go up if we go back.

6. Who is the first person you are going to hug when lockdown ends?

Maddie – my teachers.

Theo – Henry.

Micah – (to me) I’m hugging you!

Meg – Tom

Toby – Joe

Maisie – Aimée

7. Where is the first place you want to go when we’re out of lockdown?

Maddie – Longleat

Theo – school

Micah – I want to go to lockdown!

Meg – Aimée’s house.

Toby – Joe’s house.

Maisie -Barry island with Aimée and her family and you guys.

8. What do you think we can do to get rid of the corona virus?

Maddie – I think we should stay 2 metres or 2 seconds away from each other.

Theo – go outside every morning so the germs get killed.

Micah – I want to go to grandma’s house!

Meg – sing happy birthday.

Toby – stay home.

Maisie – stay in our house. Wash our hands.

9. Is mummy a good teacher?

Maddie – (thinking). Yes.

Theo – I prefer you. and Mrs C (his nursery teacher).

Micah – yep.

Meg – she doesn’t teach me anything

Toby – no.

Maisie – mummy doesn’t really teach us but she’s a good primary teacher just not secondary school.

10. If corona virus was an animal what animal would it be?

Maddie – a fox.

Theo – a lion.

Micah – a lion.

Meg – Theo.

Toby – a bat always flying around and being annoying.

Maisie – Rat because they carry diseases.

11. How did the corona virus start?

Maddie – with people getting sick.

Theo – people touched stuff they shouldn’t be touching and other people touched stuff and that’s how they get germs.

Micah – I don’t know.

Meg – people ate bats.

Toby – in China, by people eating bats.

Maisie – I don’t know. Someone got ill then everyone got ill. Something to do with bats.

So there you have it. We’ve established that Maisie is the only one who takes my questions seriously. No-one takes any notice of what I’m wearing (NOT pyjama trousers. Just comfy ones!). My children’s scientific and political knowledge is dubious to say the least. And Micah, who doesn’t go to school, is by far the most eager to go.

This afternoon the younger kids wanted to look at their ‘life story’ books, written by the social workers to explain in simple terms their journey to adoption and help them make sense of their story. Theo insisted I took a photo of him to put a new one in the empty pages at the end.

Identity is such a complex thing, and as I looked at their books with all the empty pages, I was glad that their story isn’t finished yet. And neither is mine. Last year I was stressing over how I was going to feel this year, with my youngest starting nursery in September, and life as I’ve known it for 14 years will begin to change, as will my role. In the last week, Micah’s stopped wearing nappies are night, and suddenly, unceremoniously, I’ve changed my baby’s last nappy. And for someone whose whole working life has been invested in caring for babies, it’s a challenge to face a change of role-of identity.

But if Corona virus is reminding me anything, it’s that we never know what’s around the corner. All the stressing I was doing over time going too fast and my teenagers and baby changing without me or Liam having time to stop and enjoy them, was such wasted anxiety when I look back. I had no idea we’d have months together this year. And I’m so grateful we have. So if I take anything forward with me, I hope it’s the reminder to make the most of today, and trust that tomorrow is safe in God’s hands. And to worry less about what my purpose might be then, but to look around at who I can love right now.

And just because I was listening to this song earlier and it reminded me of where my identity lies, I’ll share it here:

‘From my mother’s womb
You have chosen me
Love has called my name.
I’ve been born again
Into your family
Your blood flows through my veins.

I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God
I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God

You split the sea
So I could walk right through it
My fears were drowned in Perfect Love
You rescued me
And I will stand and sing
I am a child of God.’ (No Longer Slaves, Bethel music).