I actually don’t know why he’s making that face in the photo, I think he was denying Maddie’s accusations that he’d been eating slugs. Given that he refuses most dinners I offer him, I wasn’t overly concerned that she was doing anything more than winding him up. So despite the look on his face, he does love the swing seat. This afternoon he was in the back garden on his own swinging away and singing songs from Frozen at the top of his voice. A bit of sensory seeking heaven.

I had to go to do a food shop today. The last few weeks I’ve done click and collects, and although much quicker, the limit on items was frustrating, especially when they then didn’t have several things once they packed the order. So I braved the shop itself, and it was actually fairly straightforward. Except that I was doing a huge shop. When I was leaving the store, the friendly security man looked at my trolley and asked if I was shopping for the whole street? To which I said no, just six children and a husband. And he replied ‘six children?! Good luck!’

Thanks.

The shopping took an hour and a half and made my bank card cry. And took another hour to unpack. Although Micah did tell me he could carry a watermelon. Which made me chuckle. A lot. By the time I’d finished I really really needed coffee. Liam was helping Toby with fractions and Maddie with the two times tables, and the small boys were running riot. I’d had emails from the secondary school telling Megan and Maisie to log in and fill out the well-being questionnaire, so I told them to remember that however awful it is being with us, we are actually feeding and clothing them. Just in case they felt the need to say otherwise.

After lunch Liam planned on taking the four younger children on a lengthier walk so I could try and find the floor again. Off they went, and I thought if I hoovered really quickly I might get a quick cuppa and crochet in too. Within twenty minutes they were back. One child who had insisted they didn’t need the toilet had decided they actually did, and point blank refused to use a bush. Clearly too well house trained. On their way back another child fell over, and when they returned it was not without a sense of frustration. So we put Frozen 2 on, gave them all a bag of crisps, and made a cup of tea. Maisie was still beavering away at work when I took this picture, but not long after she joined us. It was an unusual and pleasant afternoon to sit down with all the children and just chill.

This is what happens when both parents attempt to enjoy the brief rise in temperatures just before the children’s bedtimes. Having been freezing the last couple of days, we tried to have a sneaky sit in the hammock but as ever, were found within seconds.

Bedtime turned into a long therapeutic conversation with a struggling little girl. What started as the need to say goodbye to a dead dandelion that’s been in a vase on her windowsill opened a whole can of emotional worms.

There’s a film I’ve seen a few times on social media that talks about mothers and all the different roles they play out on a day to day basis. In these strange days it certainly feels like I’m wearing a lot more than all the usual hats. My taxi role has taken a back seat for the time being, for sure, but cook, cleaner, teacher, nurse, finance assistant, administrator, and therapist are a few of the others I’m juggling. And I love it, but it’s easy to feel overwhelmed too. I’m not a professional in any of those roles.

As ever, there are challenges going on with the kids that we’re winging as parents. Getting advice where we can, talking things through with them as we are able, but no child comes with a manual. Something kicks off, and there are any number of things that could be at the root of it. In the wisdom of Shrek, they’re like onions, with layers. They’re also quite ogre-like at times when I think about it.

But I’m grateful for the little verse with big meaning in Philippians, which says:

‘I can do all things through him who strengthens me.’ – Philippians 4:13

I believe my children are gifts, and as imperfect as my parenting is, there’s a reason that we were made into a family. An often loud, messy, flawed family, but put together for a purpose. And I’m so thankful that we are. And I’m so grateful that their future doesn’t rest on my wisdom or competence, but on the One who gives me strength, day by day, to be who I need to be. To pray for them and care for them and fight for them. In all of the hats. Although secretly I’m quite fond of the ‘this is my time’, wine-drinking, Netflix watching, chocolate-eating, post 11pm hat. I look forward to digging it out again this time tomorrow.