It was Monday morning after a much more relaxed week last week, and I had a hunch it might be a challenge. Megan and Maisie disappeared upstairs to crack on. Toby logged onto his account, and was overjoyed and immediately very distracted by the fact that one of his tasks was to ‘watch a movie and take notes’. From that moment on, all he could think about was which movie to watch, when could he watch it, could it be one we don’t own…the questions were relentless. Finally after he’d pretended to have done a few other subjects he wore me down and put on Jurassic Park, assuring me he had the questions with which to do note taking. I wouldn’t be surprised if he also had a bowl of popcorn smuggled under the table.

I’ve learned with Theo you have to be ready and move very fast with interesting looking activities to gain cooperation. Thankfully his teacher had suggested a number programme to watch first. He was another child happily won over by telly to start off the day. He did then enjoy comparing sizes of objects around the house, and that kept him entertained for all of 3.5 minutes I think.

Maddie is happier to work with someone next to her, which was a bit of a challenge today as Micah was not in a happy place. He wanted to do school work, then he wanted to be picked up. He wanted his third breakfast, and he wanted daddy who was doing a job. However, Maddie and I managed a few little activities, and hearing her ‘3 things I’m thankful for’ was a nice moment in the morning – my brothers and sisters, mummy and daddy, and Lego. Given that normally she glances around the room and says ‘umm table, chairs, pencils’ or whatever else she glances at, I was chuffed that we humans featured on there today!

Micah was still grumpy but pacified a little by helping with the coffee making process. Unfortunately this led to my zoom fail of the morning, with the poor piano teacher messaging me to find out where Megan was because my reminder alarm was on silent in another room. I’ve now ensured triple alarms are set for various appointments. How we’ll ever get anywhere on time when it involves leaving the house with shoes and bags I can’t even comprehend at this stage.

There is a ‘zoom phenomenon’ in this house, that the moment you say ‘quieten down now, someone’s on zoom’, everyone feels the need to raise their tone by 20 decibels, have an argument outside the closed door, and sit in the bathroom shouting ‘I’ve done a poo!!!’ as loud as they can. Well, maybe not everyone. But certain younger members of the family certainly seem to click into chaos causing mode when the ‘quiet’ word is mentioned. So Liam and I found ourselves once again, shut in the kitchen finding ways to entertain. Today Liam supplied kitchen ping pong as the game of choice. It finally enticed a smile out of Micah, so that was a bonus.

By 11:30 with two piano lessons finished, all 3 younger children feeling they’d done enough learning, and Toby diligently ‘note taking’ with flesh eating dinosaurs, given the arctic conditions outdoors, I gave up, put the telly on, and phoned my mum. Which was a worthwhile choice, I decided.

The good thing about the lockdown birthdays was all of Maddie’s new toys to provide entertainment. The downside, the frequent arguments over them. From lunchtime onwards, I parked myself in the lounge purely to act as mediator/referee. We intended on going for a walk, but Micah fell asleep so that was delayed somewhat. I made use of the time by attempting a new crochet pattern, which I’ve since undone and restarted three times, and am still only on row two. It doesn’t look like a quick project, this one.

Once Micah was awake enough, we got the younger four kids ready to go for a walk, whilst the older two girls had another zoom. The little ones were already grumpy, and despite my notion of them needing to get out, it wasn’t a happy experience! We set off down the river, but had barely gone a few metres without having to drag four children into the hedges three times to maintain social distancing. Whether it was the time of day, or the new guidelines on people being allowed more exercise, I don’t know, but the river path was like a London street. So we gave up on that idea and went back onto the street, much to the children’s disappointment.

We managed to appease them for a while with going around the chalk play trail, but after our third round, we felt we should move on. They did not agree. Loudly.

The streets were also packed with parents and children on bikes and scooters, and us in the middle, frog marching two crying and two sulking children with teeth clenched smiles on our faces. ‘Isn’t this lovely? I’m so glad we got out’ we muttered under our breath. And went home for dinner.

Today was one of those days. I sometimes think back to when we had just Megan. It wasn’t any easier, she was a miserable baby who didn’t sleep, and I was an emotional mess. But when I had one grumpy baby, every now and then, she slept. And in those ten minutes, there was silence. With six children, the ten minutes are long gone. As soon as someone stops being grumpy, someone else steps in. And some days, three other people step in.

But even in the less than fun moments of today, I was conscious of the work Maddie had been set this morning – find three things to be grateful for. And that whisper in my head kept me going through the day.

I was grateful for my pastor’s message I listened to first thing this morning, reminding me of hope and a God who’s with me.

Grateful that although the kids were very grumpy, Liam and I still liked each other.

Grateful that the sun was shining and my washing was drying. That lockdown hadn’t happened all over the veeeeerrrry long winter we had.

Grateful that we could walk by the river at the beginning and end of our walk, and are not confined to a tiny space like some people are in these days.

Grateful for the people who keep showing their care for me and our brood.

Grateful for food in our fridge and a home to live in.

I was weary at points today, and there were times it was a fight to be grateful. But that’s ok. We’re living in tough days. Where things we know and love have been snatched from us and there are voices of fear willing to drown out the good. But for all of the tension amongst my children, I want them to be able to see all we have to be thankful for. To keep lifting our eyes upwards and outside our four walls, taking each day one at time, and waiting, hoping, and trusting that this time will not be wasted.

‘I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.’ – Psalm 40:1-3