I woke early today, before any of the kids, so I snuck down with Maddie when she woke up and we put the telly on. I actually quite like being the first one awake – in term time I set my alarm deliberately intending to wake up before anyone else just to get a possible ten minutes with a cup of tea before everything gets noisy – both outside and inside my head.

Lockdown me isn’t setting an early alarm, but I quite enjoy giving the kids a bit of tv before breakfast and having my cup of tea in relative peace. But today I sat back down after breakfast, picked up my crochet, and slowed down. Earlier in the week, Maddie’s reading book was the Hare and the Tortoise, which reminded me of the phrase we’re hearing a lot at the moment: ‘it’s a marathon, not a sprint.’ I think I tend to live life in the fast lane whether I want to or not, being busy and moving on to the next thing – and if things aren’t moving, then I’m worrying about what I need to do next. But life has slowed down now, and I’m starting to find enjoyment in that. To not feel like I should be doing the next thing, but to make the most of it, because who knows when we’ll get a time to slow down again? Maybe I’m learning some new things in lockdown.

Liam is always willing to give me time, I’m just never very good at asking for it. This morning he went upstairs with the younger kids, and a happyland town took over the bedroom.

The time spent sitting down and even indulging in the luxury of having a shower renewed me with a new zest for creating order, much to my family’s dismay. I ordered every bedroom floor to be tidied so that I could hoover the dust pit that is our house. Happily, some of the children indulged me. And in the meantime I put more boxes into storage and Liam hung pictures. 47 days into isolation and it feels like we’re just starting to do the jobs we haven’t managed to do in 3 years of living here. Which makes me wonder if we’d ever have got round to doing them in normal life.

Micah turned up dressed like this and demanding a jacket as well. He then started climbing in and out of the wardrobe on the landing. I was a little confused until he kept calling it his clock, and then the obvious dawned on me. He’s Andy from Andy’s Dinosaur Adventures. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.

After lunch he traded occupations and turned into Dean the window cleaner. I’m grateful Dean comes to clean the windows that the kids have made dirty by pretending to be Dean.

Later on they took the never ending streams of teddies outside to live in the semi-built chicken coop. I’d be okay with leaving the teddies to live there actually, but they did all reappear in the house before bedtime. Which was a swift process tonight so we could continue watching the Marvel films. Toby is giving us all an education on Saturday nights, I can’t say my heart is completely in it though. Still, four films down, 950 to go.

My lovely sister sent me this today and it got me thinking again about all the things I’m grateful for. And all the people I’m grateful for. Some days being grateful comes easily.

But other days it’s not so easy is it? On hard days or lonely days. In isolation or surrounded by people. Some days we can have everything we need and still feel like we’re lacking. I read a book several years ago when I was struggling to see all the good things I had. It was called 1000 Gifts, and the author, Ann Voskamp, challenged herself to find 3 things every day she was thankful for. And it changed her whole mindset. And it changed mine, too.

And I think that’s partly why writing this daily blog has been so helpful. Because even at the end of a tough day, when I look back through pictures of the children playing or learning or a walk together, or see the messages or gifts I’ve been sent in the day, I can’t help but be grateful. Or even as I just remember the food I’ve eaten and the fact I’m still at home and healthy. And on the days when it’s a fight to be joyful, my safety is a gift, and the breath I breathe is a gift. There is always something to be thankful for.

‘Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.”

Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.’ – Psalm 16:1&2, 9, 11.