Early this morning Theo left his spot on the sofa buried with teddies to make me a coffee in his machine. I must have looked bad if a four year old sensed the caffeine needs. Liam was coughing a lot last night so he went downstairs, but he was replaced by both Theo and Micah. So really there wasn’t a lot of sleep for either parent!

We felt like we’d earned our mid-morning brownie and coffee, but as per normal, within seconds of us sitting in the corner of the kitchen, Micah sniffed us out… ‘I’m hungry’. So I gave him a biscuit. ‘Can I have two?’ I just wanted my coffee, so I said yes. Crack on, have two. I sat back down. ‘I need a chair!’ So I went and got him his own chair. Sat back down. ‘Mum, where’s my drink?!’

Finally, the boy was satisfied to let us down the coffee.

Toby got in touch with my dad yesterday to ask if they could compare what birds were visiting the garden. My dad asked him what days they were going to do it. To which Toby (who spends a large proportion of his time on minecraft) said, ‘oh I think over the weekend, when I’ve got some spare time.’ Oh how I laughed.

So this morning we reminded Toby of the birdwatching challenge. You can imagine how enthusiastic he was. Micah offered to help though. They saw one pigeon and one house sparrow before they wandered off. Sorry Dad.

Meanwhile Megan and Maisie showed they mean business with their bedroom planning. They asked if they could have the little sofa that’s been in our summerhouse, and when I said yes they set to work cleaning it up. I have never seen them so enthusiastic about a project. Especially one involving cleaning. But it made me grateful for this time at home. Days where we’re learning more about each other. Where we have the time and space to say yes to things.

I felt quite optimistic taking the kids for a walk after lunch. But it turned out to be the most shambolic one yet. Very early on Micah decided he didn’t want to walk. Theo objected loudly to the route we’d chosen. We went to the little beach area and at the other end were a family with a dog who seemed very keen to hang out with my kids. Much to their dismay. The serious insult was when the dog ran over, grabbed Maddie’s teddy and ran off with it. Cue loud crying from her, me being rather cross with the dog owner, and finally managing to get a rather dirty toy back.

At this point I told the kids it was time to go, and the boys asked to throw one more stone in the river. Unfortunately Micah somehow managed to throw his stone at Theo instead of in the river. Cue more crying, and Micah and Theo both wanting a carry back home.

Thankfully Toby was keen to help today! And we were all cheered up by the very impressive giraffe with the rainbow on the way home. I feel slightly intimidated by the increasingly high standard of artistic ability that is going into the rainbows around here. It’s a good job no one really sees our windows with one pitiful little rainbow effort. I hope the postman isn’t judging.

I do have a fondness for rainbow themed toys though so maybe that counts. Micah very much enjoyed playing with these today. It was endearing watching him pick little figures to be our family.

Slightly more concerning was the fact that he insisted on cooking each of us on the hob before adding us to the line up. I’m trying not to read too much into it. But I might not let him back in my bed tonight.

The tricky thing with writing about my isolation experience is that I try to keep it to just that. It’s not for me to share details about other family or friends, and I try to be respectful of Liam and the children with what I share about our lives too. So some things do go unsaid. And this morning I was sad for someone else’s situation in all of this, and the impact it’s having on them. Sometimes it’s just hard and rubbish and there are no words except – you’re not alone. We’re with you in this. I might be tucked up in my home and you in yours, but don’t let the distance make you think you’re unseen.

Over the last few weeks I keep thinking of some verses in the book of Joel, talking about God’s promise of redemption for His people. They were exiled, alone, facing destruction. And He made a promise to them.

23 “Be glad, O children of Zion, and rejoice in the LORD your God, for he has given the early rain for your vindication; he has poured down for you abundant rain, the early and the latter rain, as before.
24 “The threshing floors shall be full of grain; the vats shall overflow with wine and oil.
25 I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer and the cutter. – Joel 2:23-25

That last verse has encouraged me in different situations, both this year and in the past. Even in the darkest of times, where it feels hopeless, redemption can come. Sometimes I feel like these months are being wasted, all the hopes and dreams I had for this year crossed off the calendar one by one. But they don’t have to be wasted. God can and will restore the ‘years that the locusts have eaten’, or in our case, the empty months and the pain and the loss that Covid 19 has brought. Keep looking for the rainbows – there is always hope for the future. This is not the end of the story.