I’ve been wondering what threats I can use on misbehaving teens now. Grounding them doesn’t seem to have the impact that it used to. We watched Boris this evening, I told the kids they should watch too as this was something important. Something their kids would learn about in history. To which Megan, queen of deadpan drama, said ‘well, we’ll probably be locked down for so long we won’t even be able to have children.’

You can use my eldest’s optimism to make your own judgement about how school went today! We started at 9 for PE with Joe, as did most of the country. I was by far the most enthusiastic, Maddie the most reluctant, Theo the most disruptive, and Megan and Micah competed for the fittest. Nothing new there then!

School started well, and lasted for at least 10 minutes before certain older members looked suspiciously like they were playing games instead of researching World War 2.

They all managed a piece of work though, so we counted that a success. And with the sun shining so beautifully I was never going to keep them indoors anyway.

I got a sense today that for those whom isolation is just beginning, you’re feeling like I was this time last week. I promise it will be ok. Don’t think about the long term, just do today. Or the next 10 minutes, if need be. Screens are ok. Hiding in the toilet is ok. Them not enjoying every online activity and bouncing on the trampoline is ok.

You will have enough food. Even Boris says you’re allowed to get food. There are 8 of us and we’ve been home for a week (plus a week before that in the daytime), and we haven’t run out of food. We are massively blessed with amazing friends and family who’ve offered help, who’ve been kind and generous, and we haven’t even run out of toilet roll. And there are people there for you too. We might have to be less British and ask for help. But that’s ok. (I have a food order booked next week if you need to add to it.)

I’ve been blown away by how lovely people have been. The nursery teacher and year 1 teacher who have children of their own, both putting little videos on for the children to see them and keep an element of familiar and normal. A mum from school offering to do a group story time so they could have some fun and see each other’s faces. The people checking in to see how we are. The social worker on the phone offering a daily call if we wanted it, just to support us in helping the kids through a time like no other. People doing our shopping and adding treats in. There is so much good to be found.

And there’s bits that are hard too. I’m grieving the holiday and conference that we can’t go on. Things I’ve been looking forward to for a year, crossed off the calendar. Postponed for another year, probably. And I know that’s nothing in comparison to the people having to postpone weddings, or other major events. So very very hard. It’s ok to feel that loss too. To quote the wisdom of Trolls, ‘it’s not all cupcakes and rainbows’. Although we’ve eaten a significant number of cupcakes, and I hear there are rainbows appearing in windows everywhere.

At the end of the day my missed holiday is a small price to pay for the safety of my paramedic sister, my nurse sister, my doctor brother. For the protection of my pregnant sister. Or the amazing elderly lady volunteering in the National Trust property we visited in Cornwall, the lady Liam actually wanted to adopt and bring home. In hindsight, it’s probably a good thing we didn’t. She may not have enjoyed lockdown with us.

I’ll finish with a verse and a song, because they’re what lift my spirits (also the Prosecco and chocolate next to me, but I can’t share them sorry. Boris forbids it.)

21 But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
22 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
24 “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” – Lamentations 3:21-24

And for a song, we all love Rend Collective’s My Lighthouse. Maddie particularly does an excellent rendition of this one:

In my wrestling and in my doubts
In my failures You won’t walk out
Your great love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea

In the silence, You won’t let go, In the questions, Your truth will hold
Your great love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea

My lighthouse, my lighthouse
Shining in the darkness. I will follow You
My lighthouse, my lighthouse
I will trust the promise
You will carry me safe to shore (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore

I won’t fear what tomorrow brings
With each morning I’ll rise and sing
My God’s love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea.