A picture from Cornwall, just 2.5 weeks ago. How life can change in such a short time!

Today will be shorter and probably not very eloquent because I’m exhausted. And Maisie, my last child standing, has now developed an excruciatingly high temperature, so I’m on medical duties whilst I type. I’ve set a 4am alarm for the medicine round to keep it in check, and whether they have the C bug or not, whatever they have/had is pretty unpleasant.

Enjoying the small things-this one was pleased as punch to wear her mismatched birdie tights. She’s a bit wobbly, sudden removal from friends and lovely teachers isn’t easy for little ones who’ve know big loss. On the other hand, school can be a scary place too, so hunkering down in the safe place for a while might not be a bad thing for her little heart.

Creative snack rationing. I gave them money from my coin jar and they came to my shop to purchase their snacks. Even the big kids found this amusing. Especially the one who then stole all my money.

It’s been my most emotional day so far. There are definitely going to be impacts and challenges that just a couple of weeks ago no one would have dreamed of. I had a teary long distance conversation with my friend in the street as I dropped something on a doorstep, came home and read a message from my pastor, blubbed like a baby, and allowed myself to feel it all.

But in all that, there were lovely points too. A friend hunting down my shopping needs and delivering to the doorstep. Theo’s nursery teacher messaging for our address and hand delivering Mother’s Day surprises to all the homes. The kids random conversations about Maisie walking down the aisle to Baby Shark… ‘and then you can come in mum, Mummy Shark do doo do do do…’ They’re nothing if not a little crazy, but they do help to lighten the moments.

I had some lovely chats with friends and family via messages and phone and FaceTime, and felt truly cared for today. My song for the day was ‘He will hold me fast’ sung by the Norton Hall Band on YouTube, and Psalm 46 lifted my spirits.

1 ‘God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.’ – Psalm 46:1-5

Today was wobbly, but had so many beautiful moments too. The weather forecast is looking brighter, and my children laughed hysterically at Megan’s joke-

‘This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.’

On that high point I shall leave you, with lots of love. Xxx