Apologies to my husband and eldest daughter. But I felt it was the only photo to truly reflect the sense of crazy today. Anyone else?!

We had a rough night with Toby entering our room, burning up and delusional. He was fighting something that was too loud and too big and we couldn’t get any sense out of him. It turned out it was a Pokemon surrounding the world. Maybe some deeply significant symbol of Coronavirus?…We got his temperature down and then Liam bed hopped as various children woke and slept and went hot and cold.

Suddenly my fears for lack of snacks were replaced by the need for Calpol. It goes quickly when 5 children are having at least 7.5ml several times a day! But two different people showed up and delivered the different bottles to my doorstep, and I was reminded how grateful I am for community, and how much we’re going to need each other in the coming days.

Calpol disaster avoided, we diligently started on activities. Kinetic sand, reading, number play…we were flying through them. Two older kids went and played school with the younger 3, and I thought, we’ve got this thing sorted.

But things change so fast don’t they? Emotions are flying up and down, I’m reassuring someone else one minute and the next I’m anxiously needed someone to repeat those reminders to me. Because this thing is real and everyone’s lives are changing. It’s not playing schools for a couple of weeks, it’s fearing job loss and family loss and will we have enough food and how are we going to get through this? There were moments this afternoon when it felt too big. So I put my phone aside, we made cards and walked to our friend’s house to post them and wave through the window.

And I re-read the verses I read this morning, ‘In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears.’ – Psalm 18:6

I listened to songs that calm my soul, and I made a dinner that no one liked. One child wanted to make cookies for pudding, which resulted in flour everywhere, and cookies that were ready about an hour too late. But they’ll be nice tomorrow!

I think the reality is no one knows what to feel do they? It’s unprecedented and confusing and unreal. And whilst I’m internally wondering what the future will look like, my children are stropping about their birthday and not seeing their friends. Because that all still matters too.

So I think I have to keep doing what I keep saying. Just do today. Play and pray and read and talk and learn and relax. Do what I can do. I messaged some local small businesses and put orders for deliveries to our door. I did a YouTube yoga session after dinner which highlighted quite how tense I felt. I asked others how they are and prayed for needs outside my own. Because we need each other more than ever. And sometimes the best way to lift my spirits is to try and bear someone else’s burden too.

So on that note can I make a request? One group of people that are on my mind in all of this are the vulnerable children. The ones who depend on school for their place of safety, their routine, even their dinners. The ones who are already on the poverty line and now are even more at risk. Whose parents were under stress before and they bore the brunt of that-and now the stress has multiplied. We might feel anxious about entertaining our children for a few months, but there are thousands of children who might be fearing the unthinkable with weeks at home. And the workers who support them may not be able to visit due to increasing distancing measures.

Please can you pray for them? Can you send an email highlighting your concerns? Can you give a donation to a charity that will help them? Message me if you want more information on how to help, and while you pray for your sanity, pray for their safety.

Tonight I feel calm again. I don’t know what’s going on, but I have faith that God does. It won’t last forever, and there will be good in every day, things to laugh about, people to love. So here’s to tomorrow, and finding the joy and the crazy. Which in my case looks like my daughter and my husband and their own peculiar sense of humour. ❤️